worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
