And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize