The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
