How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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