i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
