I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just forgot I was standing up.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
