Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
