So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
