Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
