I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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