Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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