ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i now understand why vodka
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
