On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize