I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
