well you can't waste a boner
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
