How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
thus making me awesome and them whores
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So here I am, sexting at work.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
