Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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