I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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