what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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