Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
