i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
