You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
