So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
