i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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