Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
