I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
