I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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