Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
