WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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