whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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