super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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