Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
