Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
