Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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