then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
40s are totally the cure
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
