I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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