get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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