How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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