I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
