Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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