How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
