dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
