bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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