Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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