She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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