I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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