that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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