I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
