they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
