he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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