Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
