I'm lost and stupid without you.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize