She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
