i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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