Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
