Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
