***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
