it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
