she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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