the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
