i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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