After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize