I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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