I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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