You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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