Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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